Last week, we were already perfuming HR bullshit with lavender through KPIs of benevolence and the smoothie of Happiness Attitude. We thought we’d hit rock bottom of the emotional jacuzzi. But no. Modern business has innovated once again.
This week, welcome to a new specialty of gourmet mental fatigue: FOPO. Fear Of People’s Opinions, or the good old-fashioned fear of what others think.
Or how to exhaust yourself anticipating what Valerie from Legal thinks about you, while feigning enthusiasm for a “fun” meeting with a kraft paper ice-breaker.
Once upon a time, we feared the boogeyman or grandma Jacqueline when she took out her dentures. Today, the monster hides in the break room, disguised as “Are you coming to the co-development meeting?“
The fear of what others think about you. About how you sit, how you dress. About your somewhat dull PowerPoint. About your silence in meetings. And don’t pretend you don’t know this fear:
- You have it when you laugh like a constipated seal at the CFO’s joke.
- You have it when you invent a passion for design thinking when you just dream of working without being told to “think in solution mode.”
- You have it when you validate an absurd project because everyone says it’s “meaningful.”
But it’s not entirely your fault.
It’s your brain. It dates back to when being rejected by the tribe meant ending up naked in the forest eating roots and negotiating your territory with a nervous boar having an existential crisis.
Today, it’s called: “not being part of the team dynamic.” A form of soft but strategic exclusion.
Enter our superhero of managerial well-being, doctor of performance psychology and corporate speaker: Dr. Michael Gervais. The man who put a chic acronym on your office paranoia: FOPO.
A word that describes a standardized and optimized social fatigue, but sounds like a cross-functional committee. FOPO would be a structured process in three stages:
1. Proactive Anticipation
“What if I suggest an idea and they look at me like I’m disconnected from reality?”
→ You script your own failure before opening your mouth. And you become your own emotional counterforce. Bravo, you’re agile.
2. Advanced Behavioral Monitoring
“Why did she give me that sideways look during my presentation? Was my chart too blurry? My voice too monotone?”
→ You activate your weak signal radar. You read blank stares like a manual on nonviolent communication. And you spend more time analyzing eyebrows than understanding strategy.
3. Contextualized Strategic Adaptation
“I’m going to rephrase it like Jerome said it, that seemed to carry more weight.”
→ You consent. You adjust. You evaporate.
But careful, you don’t disappear. You collaborate. You’re an engaged actor in co-construction. A mature professional, capable of setting aside your ego for the collective project.
In reality and without newspeak, you pretend so you don’t get shot down in the next 360° review.
Fortunately, Dr. Gervais has the miracle solution: “BREATHE and reconnect with your essence.” So, between two video calls, three deliverables and an after-work where you have to pretend you’re “excited to create connections,” you must find your deep self.
Except your deep self is burned out. It can’t take any more lukewarm kombucha while nodding during explanations from a consultant who’s never actually worked a day in a real company, telling you how to “cultivate psychological safety.”
STOP right now. Do yourself a favor: drop that performance smile and leave the room before someone says “let’s do a round table in internal weather mode.” Even if it costs you a passive-aggressive remark in the team meeting.
Because ultimately, it’s not serious to be a bit off-kilter. What is serious, however, is ending up like a corporate charter: emptied of all meaning, reviewed by ten managers, then stillborn in a binder that no one opens anymore.
But if you’re really too afraid of displeasing people, don’t panic: there’s an experiential workshop for that. Led by two certified coaches, it helps you “dare your truth in a caring framework.” We’ll talk about it in another mood piece very soon…
And as a bonus, you’ll leave with a responsibly-sourced local textile tote bag labeled “Locally Engaged” emblazoned with the transformational mantra “Being yourself is already the beginning of a journey,” along with an eco-designed booklet made from recycled fibers titled “Realigning your life trajectory through conscious and plant-based eating,” prefaced by an expert in holistic nutrition and inner resilience.
Come on, courage… Activate your inner alignment potential. And above all… make sure to co-construct, consciously and synergistically, a sustainable, ethical and regenerative authenticity.
…Or just free yourself from all that. And stop optimizing and “pretending.” Unplug from this facade opera that we still dare call corporate culture and give up this authenticity under surveillance. Become again what no one can evaluate or grade: yourself.
Because ultimately, if the good guys go to heaven, you go where you truly choose to exist, without mask, without pitch, without storytelling.